Is Your Child’s High Energy Really Just Stress? Understanding the Difference Between Natural Energy and Fight/Flight Activation

By Dr. Kate Anderson (chiropractor)

As I was chatting with my husband about one of our mutual patients, we got into a discussion about how the fight/flight response works, especially in children. I was explaining how being in a constant state of stress requires an immense amount of energy. Kids who are stuck in fight/flight are often high energy—they’re constantly on the go, racing through their day, and they tend to eat a lot. They’ll typically crave carbs, starches, and white foods—foods that give them a quick burst of energy.

He asked, “What about people who are naturally high energy? Surely they’re not all in fight/flight?”

This got me thinking. So I responded, “Of course not. It’s all about balance.”

What Does "Natural High Energy" Mean?

When we say someone is “naturally high energy,” we’re talking about someone who has an innate ability to be active, engaged, and energetic—but they also have a natural rhythm of rest, relaxation, and stillness.

Someone with truly high energy, whether it’s a child or an adult, will be able to:

- Experience moments of stillness and calm, where they feel content, rested, and at ease.
- Sleep well, waking up feeling refreshed and recharged.
- Switch easily into relaxation, without feeling wired or exhausted.
- Mobilize energy when needed, but only after having had time to rest and restore.

This is the healthy balance of energy regulation. High energy doesn’t mean being “on” all the time. In fact, if someone is truly high energy, they can shift between mobilization (active, energetic) and relaxation (calm, restored) with ease. Their nervous system is well-regulated, and they know how to rest when they need to, and how to activate when it’s time to take action.

The Fight/Flight Response and Constant High Energy

Now, here’s where things get tricky. If a child (or adult) is constantly in a high-energy state, unable to wind down, this is often a sign that their body is stuck in fight/flight mode. This state, while it gives us bursts of energy, is not sustainable over the long term. It’s the body’s stress response to danger, but it requires a huge amount of energy.

Children in this state are constantly on the go. They may appear hyperactive, impulsive, and even a bit “wired.” They might eat a lot, often reaching for quick, easily digestible foods like carbs and sugars that provide immediate energy.

But here’s the thing: sustained high energy without natural periods of rest and relaxation is not healthy. This kind of constant activation can lead to burnout, emotional dysregulation, and even behavioral challenges.

Why is This an Issue?

When a child is stuck in fight/flight and never has the opportunity to reset into a calm, regulated state, they are more likely to experience:

- Sleep issues: Their body never fully winds down, so they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.
- Emotional outbursts: They may struggle with emotional regulation and become easily frustrated, overwhelmed, or impulsive.
- Behavioral challenges: When their nervous system is in a perpetual state of mobilization (fight/flight), it can make it harder for them to focus, follow instructions, or engage in social situations appropriately.
- Exhaustion and burnout: Over time, the constant high-energy state can lead to physical and emotional burnout, leaving kids feeling exhausted but unable to fully rest.

So, What’s the Difference?

The key difference between a child who is naturally high energy and one who is in fight/flight is balance.

- A naturally high-energy child will have the ability to switch off when needed—whether that’s through restful sleep, quiet time, or a break from overstimulation. They’ll be able to relax their nervous system, reset, and then come back to high-energy activities feeling refreshed and ready.
 
- A child stuck in fight/flight may be high energy, but it’s coming from a place of activation rather than healthy energy regulation. They can’t easily shift into relaxation, and they often struggle with moments of stillness. Over time, this imbalance can lead to exhaustion, behavioral issues, and difficulties with emotional regulation.

The Path to Regulation

If your child seems to be stuck in a cycle of constant high energy, there are ways to help them find balance and move into a healthier rhythm.

- Vagal tone is key to helping a child regulate their nervous system. By incorporating Polyvagal tools, rhythm, and ritual, we can help children access their ventral vagal state (the calm, regulated state) and learn to switch out of fight/flight more easily.
 
- Rest and relaxation need to be prioritized. This means not just physical rest (like sleep) but also emotional rest—moments of stillness where the nervous system isn’t constantly “on.”

- Play is also a crucial tool for children. Play provides an outlet for energy but also teaches children how to move between states of activation and calm. It helps them learn to self-regulate and develop a sense of inner balance.

Conclusion: It’s All About Balance

High energy in children can be a sign of a naturally active nervous system, but when that energy is sustained without moments of calm or rest, it can be a sign that their body is stuck in a fight/flight response.

As parents, caregivers, and practitioners, it's essential to help children find the balance between activation and relaxation. Regulation is the key, and with the right tools, we can help children move out of a constant state of stress and into a more balanced, calm, and healthy state.

If you’re noticing that your child is always “on the go,” struggling with sleep, or showing signs of emotional burnout, it may be time to explore how their nervous system is functioning and begin implementing strategies to help them reset. Because true high energy is not about being “on” all the time—it’s about being able to shift between states of activation and relaxation with ease. And with the right support, we can help children experience this natural rhythm.